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318 Days ’til 40: The Promise of Tomorrow

09 Apr

Sometimes the best way to get through today is to focus on tomorrow.  Everyone encounters tough times in their lives.  These tough times can be caused by a variety of circumstances:  death of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of a friendship, divorce, struggles with addiction, or financial strain.  These are all real stressors that can cause deep depression and can make today seem too difficult to bear.  These circumstances can make you question if it is worth it to focus on taking another breath.  Most people have asked themselves this question at some point in their lives.  It is normal to ask.  It is also normal to try to work to relieve the feelings of despair by reaching for any glimpse of hope that may exist, no matter how small that hope may be.

It may be that today is indeed too difficult.  In those moments, it is important to remind yourself that we all have a promise of tomorrow.  Tomorrow may not be perfect, and it may not see the troubles of today disappear, but if tomorrow you are one day further away from the incident that caused you pain, or one day closer to taking the steps necessary to beat the demons that live within, then tomorrow will be a good day.

Finding hope in tomorrow means working to focus on the good things in your life, even when the good is overshadowed by immense pain.  What good things can we acknowledge when it feels as though life is caving in on top of us?

  • A warm shower
  • A hot cup of coffee
  • The purr of a cat or the loving kisses of a dog
  • A child saying “I love you”
  • The sun shining
  • Stars in the sky
  • Blooming flowers
  • A cool breeze on a hot day
  • A child laughing
  • Someone serving you a hot meal

Whether you live in a mansion or a shelter, you can focus on your pain, or you can focus on the hope of tomorrow.  Your situation may not change overnight, but your reaction to your situation may.  Slowly, day by day, hope can grow in your heart.

If you are struggling to find hope for tomorrow and you are questioning how you are going to go on, please reach out for help.  The US National Suicide Prevention hotline number is:  1-800-273-TALK.  It is okay to reach out, there is nothing to be ashamed of – they WANT to talk to you.  You can also chat with them via the internet by going to their website at: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

You are worth it.  If you cannot convince yourself that you are worth it, believe those around you.  You ARE worth it.

Today, 318 days ’til 40, I will strive to remind myself that no matter how desperate I feel, no matter how hopeless the situation I am in may seem, there is ALWAYS the promise of tomorrow.

My wish is for many brighter tomorrows for us all.

~400daystil40

 

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70 responses to “318 Days ’til 40: The Promise of Tomorrow

  1. Stuart Otway-Smith

    April 9, 2012 at 00:29

    Reblogged this on Smile if your sexy! and commented:
    Thanks again great post ;)

     
  2. Maura

    April 9, 2012 at 00:33

    I lost my husband to suicide two years ago. Thank you for posting this, I know you have a lot of readers.

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 06:09

      You are welcome, and I am so sorry for your loss. I too have lost relatives to suicide, and it is a very painful reality for those left behind. I do hope that the people who need to read this post will, and will reach out for help.

       
  3. terry1954

    April 9, 2012 at 00:49

    that is a great way to look at life. focus on the wonderful things that could happen tomorrow

     
  4. New Hampshire Garden Solutions

    April 9, 2012 at 02:22

    Tomorrow could be the best day of your life-it would be a shame to miss it, wouldn’t it? Of course, it may not be, but how will you know if you aren’t there?
    My suggestion for those who see little reason to hope is to try gardening. Gardening is pure faith and hope in what tomorrow will bring. Many studies have shown the amazing health benefits of gardening, both mental and physical, and it can be as simple as a pot, some soil, and a seed.

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 06:08

      Yes, there is something incredibly healing and grounding about digging in the earth!

       
  5. writerwannabe763

    April 9, 2012 at 02:56

    So true…but alas until I found a therapist …in my case a cognitive therapist who made a point of asking me to write down daily the ‘little’ ..or big..but mostly they were little things, each day and keep a journal of them.. one tends to thing only of humongous changes that we want to see …and often don’t so we think nothing will ever be better

    It does make a difference….as the saying goes ‘little things mean a lot’! Diane

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 06:07

      Such a good point, Diane… sometimes it does take writing everything down and being able to focus on the big and small things in life – and then we are able to gain very important perspective. Thanks for your great comment.

       
  6. sahbinahvioletflynn

    April 9, 2012 at 03:13

    What a beautiful post, especially today for those that celebrate Easter and the promise of rebirth, renewal and looking forward.

     
  7. David

    April 9, 2012 at 03:40

    I was just reading this to my son. He’s 15 and having a bit of a rough time, and the things you wrote are important for the way he has been feeling….Thanks again for a great post…

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 06:05

      You are so very welcome – I hope that it was able to help your son. Teen years are not easy.

       
      • David

        April 9, 2012 at 06:08

        No they aren’t. And it was a nice piece of the puzzle for him:) thank you

         
  8. timzauto

    April 9, 2012 at 03:59

    Awesome words to live by …I have put my faith in a better tomorrow many times and it usually is..

     
  9. livingvoraciously

    April 9, 2012 at 05:33

    Reblogged this on Livingvoraciously's Blog and commented:
    Perfect reading for this morning… only the tunnel seems longer and there’s no light at the end anymore.

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 06:04

      Which is why it is so important to take one day at a time and think of tomorrow…

       
      • livingvoraciously

        April 9, 2012 at 11:02

        LOL… and what happens when tomorrow extends into the horizon as desolate as that of the desert? No change, no hope in sight? I feel like I’ve been hanging by a thread for so long that the thread itself has run bare :(

         
        • 400daystil40

          April 9, 2012 at 14:57

          I find when that happens I have to choose to find the good, however small (ie a hot shower). This is not easy to do when depressed, as I do not want to focus on anything positive when I feel really bad….. But it is the only way out.

           
  10. kyllingsara

    April 9, 2012 at 07:15

    I just need to insert a comment about that particular hotline. The two times I called I was met with impatience and one hang-up. The impatience was a result of the person on the other end’s desire to want to fix things, rather than listen. When I didn’t want to take any of those suggestions, I was met with a suit-yourself attitude. The hang-up happened when I called after overdosing. As he put it, he didn’t want to witness anyone stupid enough to take pills dying. Great help. I wouldn’t call again. Ever.

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 15:07

      You have to remember it is a volunteer hotline, not trained mental health professionals. They are there to listen, but there is a limit to what they can do and there main goal is to encourage people and refer to the proper trained professional. If someone took an overdose, they are not the place to call….. Sounds like the people on the phone were scared with the extent of your depression, due to the lack of training…. And took it out on you and did not know how to truthfully tell you that you needed a service more advanced than their hotline.

       
      • kyllingsara

        April 9, 2012 at 16:55

        I suspect you’re right. The last time I get, the first time I don’t. That time I just needed someone to listen. Ahyways, I didn’t mean to take away from the message of your post. It is important to look ahead, as it is important to give yourself space to heal and acknowledge that the sorrow and the pain you are feeling are normal feelings given the situation. Feel it, mourn the loss and feel the dispair, but don’t get stuck in it.

         
        • 400daystil40

          April 9, 2012 at 23:29

          Yes, you are so right….. and I agree with you about the hotline… maybe you got a new/ paranoid volunteer the first time….. with people all over the USA answering you never really know who/ what you are getting with volunteers.

           
          • kyllingsara

            April 9, 2012 at 23:44

            “Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get.”

             
  11. Laura Conowitch

    April 9, 2012 at 08:12

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    A great reminder…You are Worthy!!! As someone has said…tomorrow may be your best day! How will you know if you aren’t there?

     
  12. Laura Conowitch

    April 9, 2012 at 08:22

    I also reblogged your post! I’ve had my share of depression and suicidal thoughts, as well as a couple of family members lost to suicide. It is important for everyone to know just how worthy they are! Gardening and journaling are two helpful activities. Service to others is another. And I like Scarlett O’Hara’s method too…”Tomorrow is another day!”

    Thank you!

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 15:02

      Thanks for your great comment. I agree completely gardening and journalist and service help. I think when we reach out to others we have to focus on something other than our depression and that helps it lift.

       
  13. Spider42

    April 9, 2012 at 10:35

    Great post as always.
    Life is short and full of difficulty, yes, but there is always the chance for something unexpected and great around any corner. While I’m not an optimist and believe that unquestioningly, I do think it a real possibility because life is unpredictable.
    Personally though, I tend to go with the Groucho philosophy, “Yesterday is dead and tomorrow’s not here yet. All I have is today and I’m going to be happy in it.”
    Like the things you mention, a coffee, stars in the sky, a child laughing, even on a day when things are going badly, be glad when you get to partake in these things and see the possibility of a better tomorrow while trying to make the best of the today you have.

    And as far as suicide goes – I don’t belittle it or the problems of many, but considering some of the suffering that goes on in so many places, the torture, abuse, starvation, disease, drought, etc, etc… people carry on, they rebuild after losing home and family and friends and everything. I don’t say that their problems are worse so don’t sweat yours, but ask yourself this: “if they can go through all that and still find the will to live, why can’t I? And is life not short enough already and full of death enough that I need to give chance a hand?”

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 14:59

      Yes, I can relate to everything you wrote and I have definitely found it interesting that many Americans, with far more than most people in the world are more depressed than people in the third world with almost nothing…..perspective.

       
      • Spider42

        April 9, 2012 at 20:19

        Exactly! People think I’m being a know-it-all or smart-ass but I can’t help it, I think all these things are a matter of perspective.
        Not to take away from one thing but to be in that without seeing a bigger picture can often be a far from ideal choice.

         
        • 400daystil40

          April 9, 2012 at 23:25

          Yes, I agree. We have to remember that our lives are not in a vacuum.

           
  14. The Quiet Borderline

    April 9, 2012 at 10:54

    Here here,

    I self-soothed by saying ‘this will pass’ ‘it won’t last forever, I will have better days ahead of me’, and it helped me. I gradually started to believe in it and then it came true.

    Feel good.

    The Quiet Borderline

    http://quietbpd.wordpress.com/

     
  15. jensine

    April 9, 2012 at 13:34

    Ah thanks … you are worth it too and don’t forget rainbows and butterflies, they always make me happy anyway ;-)

     
  16. Anya

    April 9, 2012 at 18:54

    I am going to re-blog. Thanks for the encouragement. Many people need to be reminded about how precious life is and it is worth living. Thanks again!

     
  17. saymber

    April 9, 2012 at 19:04

    It’s always better when you wake up on the green side lol. I lost my mother, grandfather and cousin to suicide and the impact on a family from this type of act never goes away. A permanent solution to temporary problems. Your writing here is a great reminder that tomorrow is a chance to start again! I have found writing, crafting, exercise, and almost all the items on your list, help turn a frown upside down! :-)

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 23:26

      Yes, you are so right, and I almost used that cliche…. it is such a drastic, permanent solution to something that will most likely pass…..

       
  18. Victoria Oldham

    April 9, 2012 at 19:23

    Beautifully said.

     
  19. becca3416

    April 9, 2012 at 19:45

    It is especially a great feeling when the days further away from a painful incident or maybe just a rut finally add up and you realize you are in a completely new or better place. You probably won’t feel it as each day turns new, but at some point it will all add up. Nice post.

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 9, 2012 at 23:25

      Yes, such a good point…. sometimes weeks or months later you pause and realize you do not feel as bad as you did before…

       
  20. weggieboy

    April 9, 2012 at 23:03

    Well put! I’ve always been a “count your blessings” guy. How you achieve perspective on your issues is less important than finding a way that works, then applying it generously.

     
  21. viveka

    April 10, 2012 at 00:32

    Brilliant post … you always raise issues that we all can relate to somehow and at some level. Here in Sweden do we have a high suicide rate, especially with youth. So sad. I think the figures has come down during the last years, but still … when young people can’t see the tomorrow.

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 10, 2012 at 05:58

      It is always so sad for me when young people are so desperate that they really believe there is no other way out……. I hope that more will be able to reach out for help and understand their own self worth.

       
      • viveka

        April 10, 2012 at 11:53

        It’s so difficult – have friends that lost their teenage son through suicide and they hadn’t noticed anything in his behavior – seem to be so happy and content with everything. It must be so hard on the family that has to live with all unanswered questions. Still I believe that we have the right to do with ever we want with our lives, but when healthy youth take their lifes – it’s so upsetting.

         
        • 400daystil40

          April 10, 2012 at 16:16

          Ah, this is a very different discussion, about living versus not and choice… perhaps for another blog topic! I just worry about people who hurt themselves due to pain and desperation who cannot see past that to the potential of happy days.

           
  22. Lisa Pace Wegrzyn

    April 10, 2012 at 04:24

    Thank you for the reminder — when today’s too difficult, focus on tomorrow instead!

     
  23. Help 4 Life

    April 10, 2012 at 22:09

    Reblogged this on Help 4 Life.

     
  24. Kay Tea's Cakes

    April 11, 2012 at 11:22

    I really relate to this post. Coincidently I read this week about the powers of touch and how we all need it to reduce stress etc. I still at times freeze when I am touched, but this is changing daily as I have been blessed with a son that is very tactile and loves to cuddle, hug and kiss daily. I think the way some of us are brought up not to cuddle or express our feelings in wrong, however I believe that it was just passed down.

    I don’t want to fear touch….why? Touching is wonderful as you immediately feel relaxed (if it’s from the right person of course lol!)

    Anyway thanks for sharing this ;)

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 11, 2012 at 16:03

      You are welcome – it seems that many people can relate!

       
  25. marissafh

    April 11, 2012 at 17:46

    Timely reminder for me! thank you for the post.

     
  26. marissafh

    April 11, 2012 at 17:47

    and p.s. thanks for the like on my blog-post as well.

     
  27. Wendy

    April 14, 2012 at 15:34

    Thanks for ‘liking’ my post because It brought me to your blog! Your words were just what I needed :).

     
    • 400daystil40

      April 14, 2012 at 23:18

      Wow, thank you so much for your kind words and I am so glad that you stopped by! :)

       
  28. Aubree

    April 15, 2012 at 03:21

    lovely

     
  29. consciousquared

    April 16, 2012 at 01:24

    Wow! Very inspiring. You just made my day! Thank you.

     

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