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277 Days ’til 40: Making Space for NEW Friends

20 May

Today I had the opportunity to go to lunch with someone I had met a few months ago.  I was anxious to learn more from this person, as they have had an amazing career path that I am so very intrigued by (mostly because I would love to have a similar life of adventure!)  This lunch made me realize how little time I invest in new friendships.

It is so easy for all of us to get caught up in the busyness of life and not want to make space for anything new.  I, personally, am so content with my life of colleagues, my partner and my kids that I do not feel I am missing out when I am not investing in friendships.  Yet, I notice that when I take the time to reach out to people and make connections, I am often rewarded with wonderful new connections with people whose presence can enrich my life greatly.

It is very easy to get stuck in our comfort zones and not make the time or put in the effort to expand our social circles.  Yet, we need to challenge ourselves to take the steps to do so – as there is no way to reap the rewards of new connections if we are not willing to take the necessary steps.

Today, 277 days ’til 40, I am going to challenge myself to reach out to individuals who have the potential to be close friends.  Creating strong friendships means taking the time to invest in people – when we do, we often find that we have been blessed with a life-long friend and supporter… what a gift!

~400daystil40

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34 responses to “277 Days ’til 40: Making Space for NEW Friends

  1. sandjfoods

    May 20, 2012 at 00:16

    You know you are so right, I recently broke it off with a partner of 6 years (my choice) and for the first time I feel so free, so relaxed within myself. I became so satisfied with the immediate that I forgot how to have fun. I actually start making an extra special effort to look great and there is this yearning to create new friendships male and female…but can I admit it…kinda scared bout it (blush).

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 20, 2012 at 16:33

      Yes, I can understand that too! When we come down from a tough relationship we do cherish that alone time… it is a balance.

       
  2. Mayrbear's Lair

    May 20, 2012 at 00:18

    I’m doing this too right now! I call it … expanding my tribe! LOL! Love your enthusiasm for life!

     
  3. thetawny

    May 20, 2012 at 00:27

    I LOVE making new connections and it seems this always inspires me because they are perfectly timed to something relevant to my life. I struggle creating time to develop the many new connections I make when I am out and about, however, so I try to go where the flow of time takes me. I am enjoying your journey to 40…40 is fabulous by the way!

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 20, 2012 at 16:32

      Yes, me too – the key is index to try to carve out that time in the midst of our busy schedules, which is anything but easy….

       
  4. MLHawke

    May 20, 2012 at 01:04

    This is so true! If my daughter hadn’t become good friends with a boy her in class, I never would have gotten to know his mom. Even though she is 9 years younger than me, she is VERY mature for her age, and it turns out, we are very similar. I would have lost the chance to make a great new friend! It helps that we can make our schedules around letting our kids play together, but we always have a great chat when we’re together!

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 20, 2012 at 16:32

      Yes, I love it when we have those opportunities. I find that age matters less and less the older we get. :)

       
      • MLHawke

        May 20, 2012 at 16:36

        So true! Some of my best friends and I, I’ve found, have at least a 2 year age difference, and some as much as 9 or 10 year!

         
  5. jensine

    May 20, 2012 at 01:05

    I know what you mean …w e get so use to what we know and forget what else is out there … and who else we could maybe love, like and cherish

     
  6. Kate

    May 20, 2012 at 06:43

    Insightful post. I had a hubby and child-free day today; and chose to make a lunch/shopping date with 2 cousins who live a bit of a distance from me (but not too bad). Usually, I would have spent the day by myself doing yard work or shopping by myself.

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 20, 2012 at 16:29

      I can relate – I often feel the same way!

       
  7. thelastsongiheard

    May 20, 2012 at 07:25

    I made a new friend recently… she was / is a work colleague and we always got along just fine but since my divorce started, I’ve really needed a person to help me through it. She reached out to me first – it’s not a romantic or physical thing, just someone to hang out with and talk, with no judgements, no opinions and no pressure. It’s good to find new friends :)

     
  8. The Quiet Borderline

    May 20, 2012 at 07:33

    This is certainly an area in which I am lacking. I really hope to be more forthcoming and open when it comes to meeting new people and making friends.

    Great post :)

     
  9. Gilraen

    May 20, 2012 at 11:55

    Friends that you have had your whole life are comfortable and so needed. New friends can show you new things and give a new outlook on things. A new friend may mean a new adventure in life.

     
  10. Knoob

    May 20, 2012 at 14:24

    Great post. I try to make new relationships and invest time in maintaining old ones, although sometimes it’s not easy.

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 20, 2012 at 16:27

      Yes, you are right – sometimes it is not easy, but so rewarding when we are able to.

       
  11. vivilinh

    May 20, 2012 at 18:04

    i love this post!

     
  12. Trinity River

    May 20, 2012 at 19:31

    I need to do that too. I reached out a little in the past months and the rewards have been wonderful.

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 20, 2012 at 20:42

      Yes, it really does reap wonderful rewards!

       
  13. silverbells2012

    May 20, 2012 at 23:18

    Even one conversation with a person you didn’t know before is a rewarding experience – there is always so much to learn! In fact, some of the most memorable conversations I’ve had have been on trains and buses… one reason to travel on public transport rather than taking the car everywhere :)

     
  14. drawnoutdoors

    May 21, 2012 at 07:40

    I am amazed at how much harder it seems to be to make new friends as I get older, not sure if it is my own inhibitions, constraints and comfort in my own world, or that it is a general trend through age. I remember making new friends so easily through school and university, and watch my children make friends as they play in the park and walk through the shops, though the older we get, the more guarded we seem to get and our doors seem harder to open. Love reading your posts, but it’s starting to scare me how little the numbers are getting before 40!

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 21, 2012 at 08:00

      You are right, it is much harder as we age…. when we were college students with no commitments other than our education and maybe a part-time job it was much easier than when we have families/ jobs/ etc….. time seems to disappear so quickly.

       
  15. dorothymcdonall

    May 21, 2012 at 15:59

    Since I’ve been making the effort to overhaul my life I’ve lost a lot of friends. My path has diverged so much from where I was these people with their busy lives have not kept up with me, and I just cannot go back to the way things were and the way I was to maintain the connections. So, for the first time in my life I find myself “friendless” which, until I read your blog, had left me feeling quite low. But now, I see, it simply means that there’s room for new friends. I just need to keep my eyes and heart open. … And this as I count down to my half century ;-) … Thanks for sharing … Be well, Dorothy :-)

     
    • 400daystil40

      May 21, 2012 at 21:21

      It is so sad that you lost quite a few friends…. I have had those seasons in my life where the same thing has happened to me and I realized that some friends are seasonal friends (meant for a certain time and place) and only the really special few are life long friends through it all…. I am in need of more friends for this season of my life….. all I need now is my own effort!

       
  16. The Cosy Creative

    May 31, 2012 at 19:09

    Great post. I agree it’s so important to invest time in friendships, and new friendships too.

     

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