400 Days ’til 40: My New Pet Hermie

18 Jan

How apropos that I would find a new traveling companion as I am beginning my new journey – 400 days ’til 40.  I didn’t, however, expect to find my new companion on my @ss.  Yes, my new cyber friends, Hermie is my new pet hemorrhoid.  He has taken up residence in a place I would rather not have anything reside.  I suppose this is one of the many gifts I have to look forward to as I make that climb to 40.  As time and gravity and wear and tear take their tolls on my not-so-youthful body I am told I will encounter many new surprises, and Hermie is just one of the lovely things I have to look forward to.

So, folks, I wonder.  Do you think Hermie will be with me 400 days from now???  (The correct answer, by the way is “Hell no!”)  The question is, how will he leave me?  Will he walk out on his own, or will he have to be forcibly evicted from his residence in a location meant to be exit only, and not a parking zone?

Well, there you have it – in my quest to find deeper meaning in just 400 days, I have now told anyone silly enough to read this blog that wiping is not as easy as it was when I was 401 days away from 40.  Getting old sucks, though, as my father used to say, “It beats the alternative!”

Squeezing my Charmin~

400daystil40 (and Hermie)


Posted by on January 18, 2012 in Health, Old


Tags: ,

14 responses to “400 Days ’til 40: My New Pet Hermie

  1. zen and the art of borderline maintenance

    March 24, 2012 at 07:40

    Funny! 🙂 Now once they arrive, they stay, well usually. Just speaking from experience. Have you done an update on this?

    • 400daystil40

      March 24, 2012 at 15:44

      Oh how funny, no one has seemed to make their way back to my initial post! So, I am pretty impressed you made it back that far!!! No, I have not done an official update, but Hermie did move on without my having to force him – I was lucky!!! 😛

      • zen and the art of borderline maintenance

        March 24, 2012 at 19:49

        Yes, you were! Very. I hope Hermie (love the name) never comes back. Uninvited guests that are a pain in the arse are not usually welcomed back, now are they? 🙂 Snort! I notice no one commented and just had to say something. It was too good not to not leave a reply. I laughed so hard. But they hurt so much, it’s really not funny. Sigh.

        • 400daystil40

          March 24, 2012 at 23:32

          Yea!!! At least there is one blogger out there who appreciates my off beat sense of humor!!! 🙂 For whatever reasons, it seems most respond only to my self-help posts so my few ones that were humorous seem to have faded into oblivion – thanks for the support!!! 🙂

          • zen and the art of borderline maintenance

            March 25, 2012 at 02:53

            Absolutely. I have the same style of humor. I am finding out the same, many seem to favor self-help. That’s why I created two additional blogs, so I have a place for all styles of writing. 🙂

          • 400daystil40

            March 25, 2012 at 12:13


  2. Slummy to Yummy Mummy

    April 24, 2012 at 23:38

    Lol! This made me laugh. Sadly, I got my first one in my early 20s and childbirth put paid to them leaving of their own accord. I’m 31 tomorrow and it looks like mine are permanent friends. Good luck with your journey!

    • 400daystil40

      April 25, 2012 at 07:40

      I am glad this made you laugh! The joys of growing older, huh? 🙂

  3. Julie

    August 30, 2012 at 03:04

    Depends on how you adjust your diet and exercise. 😉 Your body slows… and it ends up showing. Somewhere.

    • 400daystil40

      August 30, 2012 at 20:25

      I can’t believe you found your way to this post! It was back when I had no readers! 😉

      • Julie

        August 30, 2012 at 21:51

        I went back to the beginning and reading forward. This could be a book, you know.

        • 400daystil40

          August 31, 2012 at 21:35

          hehehe – thanks for the compliment! I do not think my musings are that interesting to people….. it is funny how everything changed over time, I tried to be funny at first, but it seems people were really more interested in reading serious self-help types of stuff.

          • Julie

            August 31, 2012 at 22:00

            It’s a mystery as to what you think will be popular versus what turns out to be.

          • 400daystil40

            August 31, 2012 at 22:01

            So very true! I am often quite surprised! 🙂


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