Do you ever wonder how some people do it? How they seem to radiate a love, joy, and kindness 24/7. They always seem to have a smile on their face, are always positive, cheering people up, patting individuals on the back, offering hugs and condolences. Their cups are always half full.
I greatly admire these individuals and often question what molded them. Sometimes I am even judgmental…… actually, sometimes I am VERY judgmental of people with this personality type. Thoughts that can go through my head include:
- They are not REALLY happy, they are repressing all sorts of negative feelings
- They are completely out of touch with reality
- Did they grow up in a vacuum? Who can be that happy, were they sheltered and had no pain in their life?
- Are they on drugs?
- Who are they trying to impress?
- They are running away from their true feelings and one day everything will come crashing down
Then, I take a step back from my judgement and I wonder if my judgement is just that, judgement. Is it possible that there may actually be authentically happy/ joyful people in this world? Could it be that these individuals have risen to a level of self-realization that is far superior to my own? Perhaps they are the ones who truly “get” life, and it is me who is not with the program. Maybe I am the problem. Me, with my complaining, frustration, grumpiness, pessimism. I have the problem – and the problem is that I am not that person who radiates joy and love. If I really did some deep soul-searching and was fully honest I would also have to admit that I am jealous – I am IMMENSELY jealous of these people. I suppose deep down I want to be these people. I want my community to see me and feel love and joy.
And then reality sets in and I realize that the reason I do not radiate love and joy is that I am not choosing to radiate love and joy. It is MY choice. I can live my life in an authentic way which focuses on the beauty around me, and there is beauty in many things. I just have to make the choice to see it. As I sit here typing I see a warm fire, a snuggling kitty and my partner sound asleep. My life is good and these things bring a smile. Perhaps if I remind myself of this enough the smiles will come more frequently and my way of life will also be to radiate joy and love.
Today, 350 days ’til 40, I hope to continually remind myself of the wonderful things life has to offer me. I will look at all the small things around me that really do bring joy – my environment radiates joy. I can draw from that and be radiant myself.
March 8, 2012 at 00:44
Interesting blog concept! Enjoyed the post! Lots of deep thoughts!
March 9, 2012 at 21:41
March 8, 2012 at 01:21
Enjoyed your post. Sounds like you are on your way to deciding exactly what you want for yourself!! Good luck!
March 9, 2012 at 21:40
The Quiet Borderline
March 8, 2012 at 13:44
I’m still very confused also. Over the fact that people around me seem to ‘get life’ and I simply don’t.
I’m trying to find these answers to life but am not sure if I’m going to find them!
Here’s to finding it!!
The Quiet Borderline
March 9, 2012 at 21:37
Yes, Quiet Borderline… though I often wonder, do they really get it, or just appear to have it together on the outside????
The Quiet Borderline
March 10, 2012 at 11:27
I’m not sure, it’s very confusing but interesting to me. I guess everyone has their own stuff they are going through so maybe some people’s stuff is worse than other peoples stuff and also some people deal easier with their struggles because of different reasons like the way they were brought up, the current support they have from friends and family and their personality.
It’s all very interesting! I wonder all the time how far away from ‘normal’ am I!?
March 10, 2012 at 22:00
Ahh, QT – but is ANYONE normal???? Hang in there!
March 8, 2012 at 19:12
Happy “350 Days Left” day!
Have you noticed that a joyful demeanor can be a God-given personality trait? I have four children, and I’ve noticed that some are naturally pessimistic, and some naturally optimistic. Even at an early age one child focuses on the good in a situation, while another child could be at a Theme Park with candy and cake and focus on what’s wrong.
I tend to naturally notice what’s wrong with a situation. There’s an old joke that says something like, “I’m not a ‘glass half full’ person, and I’m not a ‘glass half empty’ person. I’m a ‘is that glass really clean enough to drink out of’ person!”
But in your years studying the Scriptures, you must have read what the Bible has to say about true joy – as there is a difference between happiness and joy.
Paul writes something remarkable to the Philippians: “for I have LEARNED how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:11-13, emphasis mine).
I emphasize “learned” because true joy is not something that comes naturally. But when one finds it, he or she will have it regardless of the situation. You expressed that you should be joyful for your warm place, nice cat, companion, and these things are great. But would you or could you be joyful if you had none of those things? Like Paul, could we be joyful if we have plenty to eat, or rotting in a Roman dungeon? TRUE Joy can do that, and that’s something I’m endeavoring to LEARN to have. Imagine having JOY at both the birth of a child, or a stillbirth of a child. Now THAT’S Joy that’s rooted in knowing the Creator and trusting His hand in all things.
Another example… Imagine a woman is on an airplane and she has advanced knowledge that the engines will be failing in 20 minutes. (Kindly suspend your disbelief on the setup for the sake of the point to come.) The woman has true JOY knowing that the parachute on her back will save her from certain destruction. If the man next to her accidentally spills his hot coffee on her lap, she will feel the pain, and be upset, but her JOY will not be interrupted because of her gratitude that in short order she will experience deliverance from destruction. If anything, the hot coffee on her lap will make her look forward to the jump!
It’s easy to be happy when things are going well. But only in knowing that we have a Savior that will deliver us from certain destruction (death and hell) can we have JOY when things are going horribly.
March 9, 2012 at 21:36
Thanks, Mark! Your glass comment made me laugh – that is so something I would say!!!!
🙂 Good points, true joy is far deeper than reacting to our current circumstances – it is so much more.
March 10, 2012 at 22:34
Just a little bit of food for thought:
“Adopt the role you are waiting for; so, when that Person comes to save you, you have already saved yourself.”
March 11, 2012 at 20:50
March 10, 2012 at 22:31
Thanks for your transparent candor and candid recognition of your experience!
I have noticed, and from from personal experience, those of us who have experienced, and then transcended joyfully and in totality, arduous happenings in our lives can hold a higher appreciation, thus radiant voluptuous happiness, for life. If unconditional love is added to the equation with steadfast stubbornness of virtue then the aforesaid happiness can multiply exponentially; remembering that we are, by heritage, truly ‘godlike’ can throw a whole new flavor to the palatable happiness that ensues as well.
March 11, 2012 at 20:50
Thanks, Mister Rabbitt,
I agree with you – this is easier said than done, but when accomplished makes such a difference in our lives (usually we have to be willing to let go, which is what seems to hold most people back).
March 11, 2012 at 15:05
March 11, 2012 at 20:57
Thank you, Sumukh!
March 12, 2012 at 22:12
I love how the last sentence says it best – “Be Radiant Myself”
March 17, 2012 at 15:35
Thank you, moved by faith!!!
March 19, 2012 at 05:32