Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound. ~ Peace Pilgrim Quotes
Better slip with foot than tongue. ~ Benjamin Franklin
Nature has given us two ears, two eyes, and but one tongue – to the end that we should hear and see more than we speak. ~ Socrates
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. ~ Josh Billings
He hath a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper: for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks. ~ William Shakespeare
The tongue like a sharp knife… Kills without drawing blood. ~ Buddha
There is no evidence that the tongue is connected to the brain. ~ Frank Tyger
Whatever is in the heart will come up to the tongue. ~ Persian Proverb
I love how there are moments when a post I start off writing turns out to be a completely different post/ topic. I thought I was originally going to write about sticking our tongues out at people and life, holding our heads high and not letting the little stuff get to us. Yet, as I read all the amazing quotes on tongues, I realized that writing about us holding our tongues is more important.
This is something that I struggle with. I do not struggle with holding my tongue because I am a gossip – I really am not a gossip. I struggle with holding my tongue because I am a communicator. I want to work out problems and talk them through – immediately. I have had to learn, sometimes the hard way, that time can sometimes be a better healer of issues than speaking. I have also had to learn to pick my battles and realize that some conversations are necessary, and others are not. This can take a lot of will power.
At the same time, when someone is not willing to engage in a conversation to solve problems, I find myself wanting to brainstorm solutions with others. This is where I have had to learn (and re-learn, and re-mind myself) to use discretion. I think it is invaluable to get input from others, as long as they can truly be trusted to respect confidentiality and problem solve with you.
I am a person who likes honesty. In fact, my biggest pet peeve is when someone lies to me. I extend the honesty I expect from others to everyone in my life. Most of the time this is a gift that is respected and allows me to form deeper relationships with the people in my life. Sometimes I have moments when I realize that I need to filter myself more, or find a more tactful way of answering a tough question without telling a lie (since I won’t lie). Ultimately, I would choose blatant honesty any day over an individual who is not authentic or genuine, claiming all is wonderful when it really is not…. and yes, that means I sometimes manage to get myself into a bit of hot water when I tell my partner that her feet stink or tell my oldest daughter that her particular outfit appears to have been chosen in the dark… it is a learning process!
Today, 206 days ’til 40, I will remember the great power of my words – to harm and to heal. I will continue to maintain my values of honest communication, while remembering the feelings of those I communicate with. I hope you do too.