170 Days ’til 40: Contacting Old Friends

04 Sep


Yesterday I heard from a friend I have not seen in over twelve years – thank you Facebook!  

As a result of Facebook, I have re-connected with people I have not seen in 5, 10, even 20+ years!  I have also connected with distant cousins and family members, some of whom I have never met in person.  Facebook has been a huge gift that has allowed me to be part of their lives in ways I never would have ten years ago.

Some argue this is a problem, that we are substituting real in-person friendships with virtual friendships and support.  I would argue that there is a place for both in this world.  I do believe that some of my most critical support throughout the past fifteen years has been as a result of the internet.  The internet is a wonderful place to learn, grow and connect with people – new and old.

There is something very special about rekindling an old friendship and sharing your lives years later, after you and the other individual have matured and evolved.  It is a pleasure to talk about growth.  One thing that often amazes me is how my close friends and I have often grown in similar directions, even though we have spent the last decade worlds apart.

I will sometimes track down my old friends – when I make the effort it is always such a gift – even if the communication is another fleeting moment in time when I remind them of what they once meant to me and thank them for their presence in my life.

Today, 170 days ’til 40, I am thankful for old friends – for their past, present and future presence in my life – I will continue to reach out to them, they are a gift.



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16 responses to “170 Days ’til 40: Contacting Old Friends

  1. fransiweinstein

    September 4, 2012 at 00:28

    Love this post. And I completely agree with what you’re saying about Facebook. The same thing has happened to me; and it is always a lovely surprise when there’s a friend request from someone I haven’t seen or talked to, in a long time.

    • 400daystil40

      September 4, 2012 at 23:05

      Thank you! Yes, it is indeed such a wonderful surprise!

  2. doubleinvert

    September 4, 2012 at 00:41

    During the exploration stage of my gender identity discovery, the Internet was my primary source of support. Through Facebook, I’ve reconnected with old friends. Many of those friends are no longer local to me, but have kept me as a friend even after I came out as trans to them. I enjoy both my online and offline relationships. There is indeed a place for both.


    • 400daystil40

      September 4, 2012 at 23:05

      I agree, there is place for both and sometimes the only place to really find people who understand you.

  3. Garry Evens

    September 4, 2012 at 00:49

    Glad I found this site. I’ll be turning 40 in April, just a few weeks after you.

    • 400daystil40

      September 4, 2012 at 23:04

      Thanks so much – good luck on your journey to 40.

  4. Anonymous

    September 4, 2012 at 00:57

    I think both virtual and real friendships are important and it all depends on ourselves. We should have time to meet people in the streets and to socialize at the same time friends on FB are good because they judge us for no benefits.

    • 400daystil40

      September 4, 2012 at 23:04

      I agree with you – great points!

  5. walkwiththerabbi

    September 4, 2012 at 01:17

    Great attitude!!! Not this or that – both!!! Hugs from here.

  6. Viveka

    September 4, 2012 at 23:39

    You’re so right … that we need both. If it hadn’t been for my FB and my friends there that dragged me through my treatments I don’t think I would have made it. When finished I decided to visit them and show them that their support had so important for me … showing them that I was no victim as such. My friends in around me they didn’t know how to handle the whole thing .. some stayed away, some didn’t leave me alone. I think we need both … and friendship isn’t that we talk to each other every day and share everything. Friendship is that we are there, doesn’t matter how long time it has been since last time. No catching up is needed for true friendship. Once a great subject.

    • 400daystil40

      September 6, 2012 at 22:12

      I am so glad you had the support of your FB friends during that rough time in your life. My friends have also been there to support me through some really tough times.

  7. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital)

    September 6, 2012 at 19:40

    My Facebook usage is just to see about what is going on with other people! I admit it. I have 3 cousins that live back in England that I don’t speak to on Facebook, but oh, don’t you worry, I am well clued up about their job status, relationship status etc!

    But am so glad for you that you have found these genuine lost connections with people!

    • 400daystil40

      September 6, 2012 at 22:04

      I can do the same – I often do more reading than writing/ responding on facebook!

  8. damoris

    September 8, 2012 at 11:53

    Pros & cons:
    Although like many people I tend to confide easier in an old internet connection, pouring unashamedly my heart out like I would not dare doing with an actual touchable human friend or family member. I have also found that internet connections or re-connections can also be dangerous. They tend to dilute our everyday life, stealing some of our reality to allow us to drift in a semi-virtual idealised world.
    Very comforting but disillusion is never too far off …
    Look after yourself


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