152 Days ’til 40: When New Beginnings Don’t Cooperate

22 Sep

In the dim background of our mind, we know what we ought to be doing but somehow we cannot start. -William James

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth… not going all the way, and not starting. -Buddha

There are some things one can only achieve by a deliberate leap in the opposite direction. -Franz Kafka

I have been thinking about new beginnings lately.  Actually, if I were to be more accurate, I would have to say that I was arguing, fighting and wrestling with new beginnings.  However, it may not be in the way you think.  Many people resist new beginnings – they fight vehemently to ensure that change does not occur.  I have many friends who really struggle with change and prefer to prevent it at all costs – new beginnings, of course, are all about change.

The aforementioned resistance to change, however, does NOT apply to me.  No, I have a different issue.  I have an issue that can frustrate me so much I want to pull my hair out.  My problem – is that – change – new beginnings – they seem to resist me!!!  I am sadly (depressingly so) serious.  I look for opportunities, I look for ways in which our family can learn and grow and have adventures.  I look for job opportunities that would challenge me to grow.

I do not know of it is the current world climate, the realities of the job market, stereotypes and biases of those who would need to hire or partner with me, or all of the above…..  what I do know, is that it is very frustrating.

I also know that there are many people, good people, talented, dedicated, devoted, hard-working people who are desperate for new beginnings, new jobs, new hope – and are not finding these things.  This is heartbreaking.

I am not sure what the answers are.  I suppose we all just have to find the energy and strength to persevere.  We must convince ourselves of the hope that eventually our new beginnings will come.  And, in the meantime, remember to be thankful for the things that we do have.  As much as I personally yearn for new beginnings, I can step back and be thankful for the life that I do have – one of joy, job challenges and satisfaction, and one filled with the love and laughter of a caring family.  These things give me great pleasure as I work on developing my patience.

Today, 152 days ’til 40, I wish for all of my readers that they will be blessed with the new beginnings their hearts desire.



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27 responses to “152 Days ’til 40: When New Beginnings Don’t Cooperate

  1. The Quiet Borderline (back in hospital)

    September 22, 2012 at 00:14

    Please God I will have some new beginnings. It’s long overdue. Thanks for the post.

    • 400daystil40

      September 23, 2012 at 00:37

      Yes, I hope you do as well – new beginnings where you feel happy and confident!

  2. buckwheatsrisk

    September 22, 2012 at 00:29

    oh my goodness i’ve had so many new beginnings in the last 2.5 years i’m ready for some “same old.” i hope you find the new beginnings you are looking for!

  3. appletonavenue

    September 22, 2012 at 02:57

    An interesting post. I’ve been struggling with new beginnings since I retired due to disability last year. I found out this year that my disability isn’t disabling me (my government tells me so) and my new beginning is now to look for a job I am still able to do.

    • 400daystil40

      September 23, 2012 at 00:36

      Wow, what a roller coaster you have been on – I hope that you are able to find a job that will work for you.

  4. walkwiththerabbi

    September 22, 2012 at 15:17

    A few points mon ami. Is it possible, that you are presently, precisely where you are meant to be – that you are living your “life purpose” right now? Also, we alone MUST take the responsibility to control the circumstances and outcomes of our lives, to be the change we passionately desire. Visualize the “me I wish to be” in the future, and start living it now. Guess what? It is you!!! Before this however, it’s imperative to first know, that what we desire is a “GOD-thing” (see my post from last week – “It’s a GOD-thing – Isn’t It?). I’d love your comments. Hugs from here.

    • 400daystil40

      September 23, 2012 at 00:35

      Thanks for the input – sadly, I think the issue is more the fact that I am stuck where I am as potential future employers are not yet evolved enough to feel comfortable with my family structure (sad, but true). I look forward to the day when I apply for a position and am judged solely on the content of my character and proven success in my profession.

  5. Another Thousand Words

    September 22, 2012 at 19:35

    By examining our own lives, we at times become complacent and resist change. On the other hand, change is inevitable. So, what do we do?

    It is so necessary, 400, to analyze what may result from change. In my own life I have developed many habits, good and bad, which I occasionally look at while I sit back and think about why I am still here. Changing, and eliminating the bad habits, has become de rigeur over the years…I was raised to strive to be a better person, to live a better life than those before me; these days, though it it difficult what with all that occurs everyday in the world around us, I remain true to that higher goal.

    You are on the right track…I so enjoy your young(!?) wisdom in these posts!

    • 400daystil40

      September 23, 2012 at 00:34

      Yes, this is so true! Thanks for your insight and your encouragement!!!

  6. saymber

    September 22, 2012 at 21:22

    400 my immediate thought when I read this is: you get what you expect. I would say to put your hearts desire to the Universe with all the emotion/passion you can. Be very specific and detailed in your request. Make a vision board of what you want even – with pictures and words. I write what I want down and just let it go and it’s amazing how the Universe responds when you surrender…don’t have “too many mind.” When I try to force things too hard…the wheel always gets cogged. You deserve to live the life you want and you can have it. Just act as if it’s happening.

    • 400daystil40

      September 23, 2012 at 00:33

      Thank you so much! Yes, most of the time I would agree with you (have even done those vision boards) – and sometimes it gets tough because you come before your time and the opportunities require others to be open, willing, and non-judgmental enough to cooperate……. times are changing, things are getting better, but sometimes you end up in a field where you are judged by things other than the content of your character…. sadly, this is the case. I can’t wait for this to change. In the meantime, I persevere and look into new job fields that may be a better fit for me and my family.

      • saymber

        September 23, 2012 at 16:47

        I’m so sorry you don’t feel like you can continue in education – I wish with all my heart our country treated educators with more reverence than we do most any other profession because without you, we lose our future….the children. I have never understood why the people who play such a pivotal role in our childrens lives, our nations future, are treated and paid so poorly.

        • 400daystil40

          September 24, 2012 at 00:03

          Yes, it is scary…. I once heard that the average teacher lasts only 2 years in the field due to the demands. My sister only lasted 4 months…. it is not easy.

  7. viveka

    September 23, 2012 at 01:12

    New beginnings has never bothered me – have moved .. from country to country – I enjoy it, because it’s a new being is also a challenge .. but that’s me – most people are like you I think .. don’t want to start all over …. we like our comfort zone – but I’m really happy that you consider changing job – because the way your work today will kill you in the end.

    • 400daystil40

      September 24, 2012 at 00:06

      Wow, you have had many new beginnings – I LOVE new beginnings, I love the adventure…. yes, we will see… though some of the new opportunities may have me working even harder!!! 🙂

      • viveka

        September 24, 2012 at 01:16

        I think that new beginnings does in the beginning, a bit because we allow it happen, for the same reason – that it’s something new, but we have a chance to adjust to normal after a while.
        As you have it today is crazy.

  8. ahmedfraih

    September 23, 2012 at 15:21

    “Take risk” is a new word I’ve learned recently and it’s the only motive that leads me to new beginnings. Every time I confront a strange experience I force myself to take risk and go ahead where I find myself in the middle of a new beginning, it would be a bit dangerous sometimes but actually it makes me happy because I end up meeting new people and a better known for the world around me. New beginnings aren’t scaring but they just need a bit of courage.

    • 400daystil40

      September 24, 2012 at 00:04

      Ah, yes – what a great two words! It is scary to move out of our comfort zones, but as you say – we end up better because of it.

  9. sapphospeaks

    September 23, 2012 at 20:39

    Things are changing but progress does seem excruciating slow. Think of people dealing with the same 40 years ago! I can’t imagine how they did it. I work in a very visible field in a small town and a lot of people know me by sight. Because of what and who I represent, I have to hold an important part of myself back for another year until I move to be with my partner. Once that happens, I may face the same issues as you, as I plan to live openly. I can only hope others will judge me and the body of my work by what I’ve created.

    • 400daystil40

      September 24, 2012 at 00:02

      I hope that is the same for you. For the most part, my family has faced very few issues in our current location, it is when we want to move elsewhere and look for new job opportunities that there are issues… people are afraid…. sadly (seriously, I am so not scary!)

  10. mskatykins

    September 23, 2012 at 20:57

    Thank you, 400 and I wish the same for you! 🙂

  11. A Table in the Sun

    September 23, 2012 at 22:23

    Someday, you’ll look back at this time as being quite critical in your life. It just isn’t clear right now. I’ve tried to push new beginnings in the past too. I finally learned that you have to allow it rather than control it.


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