103 Days ’til 40: Roller Coaster Emotions Week

10 Nov


Have you ever had one of those weeks that felt nothing less than a roller coaster of emotions?  I am NOT referring to those weeks that are taken hostage by hormotional moments, I am talking about weeks when you are grounded, stable, feel great, and yet life seems to take you through ups and downs.

This week has been one of those weeks for me with many ups and downs.

Things are going so well for me at work and with my job, my family is so loving and supportive and I am so honored to have them in my life.  I am looking at opportunities to embrace but now in the present and long-term goals for my future.  This places me in a wonderful position in my life.

I often talk about how I appreciate my colleagues, but I also appreciate the parents and the students I work with.  They are so open, so warm, so welcoming, so willing to partner with us in order to make our school better for our community.  The students are adorable.  I love that they shout my name as I walk by and I LOVE walking into the preschool and feeling as though I am as important as the president, as the children wave hello to me excitedly.  I really have an amazing job!

Yet, there are areas where I am trying to learn and grow where I have been very frustrated this past week.  I am disappointed when I am judged based on parts of me I have no control over, rather than the content of my character.  When people judge me because of my adopted children or my family or my cultural background I am so saddened.  There are so many wonderful, open, understanding people in this world…. yet there are also those few who are scared of anything different from what they know.  The fear is real and they feel threatened… and they, sadly, judge people on outside appearances, rather than character.

I am so proud of our world… so many countries are learning and growing constantly – people are challenging themselves to reach out in love and acceptance in ways that many never thought were possible.  Many positive steps have been taken, and I hope they continue to be – some days I feel as though that cannot happen soon enough.

Today, 103 days ’til 40, I am happy at the end of my roller coaster week.  I am happy because I have hope that our world is heading in the right direction.  I am happy because deep down I have to believe that some day people will be able to put their judgements and biases aside and treat individuals with respect based on their character.



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23 responses to “103 Days ’til 40: Roller Coaster Emotions Week

  1. buckwheatsrisk

    November 10, 2012 at 01:39

    Sorry you felt judged. for the record, i think it’s a wonderful thing you did, adopting children. we can’t have children of our own and have talked about it.

    • 400daystil40

      November 10, 2012 at 23:37

      Thank you. Adoption is an amazing experience. I am one of those adopters by choice (as a first choice and only option for me). I know that some come to adoption by choice, as I did, and others come to adoption as their only way of starting a family. Either way, it is such a blessing!

  2. walkwiththerabbi

    November 10, 2012 at 03:45

    Remember – you are not defined by what others say about or think of you (and you have no control over them anyway, and therefore, merits no investment of your time, treasures or talents). CHOOSE not to own it! Be empowered!

  3. doubleinvert

    November 10, 2012 at 04:20

    “I am disappointed when I am judged based on parts of me I have no control over, rather than the content of my character.”

    I can relate to this. Being partnerless for the now means that I’m not really judged by my queerness. But being openly trans, yeah, that’s a problem. As my daughter continues with coming out as bi and genderqueer, she’s starting to encounter the judging. She knows I’m there for her, but it’s hard to watch one’s child (even wen said child is nearly 21) go through pain like that.

    I don’t know how grounded I am, and my endocrinologist has me on a steady hormonal regimen so things don’t fluctuate. But it seems that the roller coaster is normal for me for now.


    • 400daystil40

      November 10, 2012 at 23:34

      I am glad you are grounded for now – it can be so difficult. Just today I was having a discussion with my partner about these issues…. and that when people are judged re: sexual preferences the people who are judgmental are the ones making the issue bigger. IE: my sexual preference is part of who I am, but not necessarily the most defining characteristic of who I am – I am an educator, mother, partner, friend, etc. Yet, when people have an issue with my sexual preference, in their mind it becomes my sole identifying factor.

  4. Julie

    November 10, 2012 at 04:59


  5. saymber

    November 10, 2012 at 20:37

    I have roller-coaster-emotions ALOT! Totally understand what you talk about here and am glad you are at the end of it!

    • 400daystil40

      November 10, 2012 at 23:31

      I think I may still be on it, so I will buckle up and try to enjoy the ride!!!

  6. viveka

    November 11, 2012 at 00:50

    Only thing I can say about people that judge others for whatever reason … they are small and totally meaningless. They don’t have a voice. You shouldn’t be bothering – it’s their world that is small and let them stay in that world. As you said you have so many other wonderful people around you – give them all your energy – the energy you give to those that are not worthy by being upset over their behavior.
    You have a loving family – and great friends, that is all that counts. There will always be people that make judgment about us – for whatever – but let them do so, because the person that love and like us knows better.
    It so sad that in 21th century that people can be that ignorant, but they will always be around.

    • 400daystil40

      November 18, 2012 at 22:37

      You make some very good points! Thank you so much!

  7. kenthinksaloud

    November 11, 2012 at 09:38

    Absolutely agree – especially with your last paragraph! judge us by what’s inside us – not what you perceive the externals to be.

  8. sakuraandme

    November 11, 2012 at 11:00

    Sadly a great deal of people are still very Racist and prejudice! can I also say they are ignorant!
    Paula xx

  9. Mari

    November 11, 2012 at 17:59

    I totally understand!! Sometimes my emotions roller coaster so much that I begin suspecting I may suffer from some type of momentary insanity but then I see I’m not the only one so I feel better knowing that I’m pretty normal!! 😉

    Have a wonderful Sunday! (:

  10. knitxpressions

    November 12, 2012 at 13:46

    Not being bias or judgmental is a really hard thing to do. I remind myself often not to judge others just from the way they look or just from a passing statement someone made about another person. There have been many times where because I had kept an open mind about a person’s character, the little things I learn about these people start to explain why they do the things they do and think the way they think. I always tell myself that nobody’s perfect, myself included, so I have no right to judge others as they have no right to judge me. Anyway, I just want to say that like you, I want to believe that one day people will put aside their judgement and biases…cos I believe that when that happens, the world we live in will then become a much more peaceful and happier place.

  11. transitionstande

    November 13, 2012 at 04:45

    If we all try to be the best version of who we are, and make our part of the world a better place, bit by bit, it will happen. I believe it is happening.:)


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