65 Days ’til 40: Alone vs. Lonely

I restore myself when I’m alone. ~ Marilyn Monroe

I think it’s good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone. ~ Amy Sedaris

The trouble is not really in being alone, it’s being lonely. One can be lonely in the midst of a crowd, don’t you think? ~ Christine Feehan

It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely. ~ Albert Einstein

Yes, I guess you could say I am a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowded room with boring people than I feel on my own. ~ Henry Rollins

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. ~ Mother Teresa

I have often thought about the differences between being alone and being lonely.  I LOVE being alone.  I am an introvert at heart and I MUST have my downtime in complete quiet and silence in order to be able to refuel so that I have the energy to devote to my job and family.  Without this “alone” time, I would crumble under the pressure (well, maybe not crumble, but I definitely would not be a happy camper.)  For me, “alone time” is a gift – it is so wonderful to have those moments when I am able to crawl into my warm bed with a good book and read.  I love having those moments to myself, as I slip in and out of sleep, loving the peace and quiet.

For me, lonely has a very different definition.  I can crave alone time, but still worry about being lonely.  The feeling of loneliness if a feeling that a person is not connected with the world they live in… not connected with the people who surround them.  Earlier in the year I wrote about visiting a place of worship where I was told to go sit (alone) in the kids toy room because my (then) two-year-old was making too much noise.  As I had entered this place of worship to try to find friends and community, this was devastating.  I never felt more alone in my life than that day when I wanted to be with people, and they sent me to the playroom – where there was not a single mother or child present other than my daughter and I.  I stayed there for a few moments and walked out of that house of worship – vowing never to return.  I was more lonely there, next to the room of people I had hoped to connect with, than I would have been curled up in my own bed, alone.

Alone time is a good thing, particularly for introverts, being lonely can be depressing and scary.  If you are feeling lonely, it is important to reach out and work to join support networks in your area.  If you are in need of being alone, I am sure you also fantasize about barricading yourself in a room for  a weekend and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Today 65 days ’til 40, I am thankful for the alone times in my life – I am also thankful how many people have come into m life in the past ten years and taken away my loneliness!

~400daystil40