Tag Archives: Future

108 Days ’til 40: Childhood Dreams, Adult Fulfillment


We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans.  And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate.  It’s just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there.  Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn’t have expected. ~ Ben Okri

I had this rare privilege of being able to pursue in my adult life, what had been my childhood dream. ~ Andrew Wiles Read the rest of this entry »


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143 Days ’til 40: Unlocking the Future…. by throwing away keys to the past….

The blog entry that I share below was written for another blog of mine over five years ago.  As I was reviewing this blog, I found it and felt that it was worth sharing – so here it is!

Unlocking the Future…

by throwing away keys to the past…

May 29, 2007

In the midst of all the craziness of this time in life, I have found moments of great reflection. I am currently packing up my office, filled with great memories from my first two years in my position with this school. The office signifies everything from helping scores of students, family and staff members, to freedom from a marriage that was full of so many disappointments for me. I am packing up the office, as the school is relocating to a larger facility about 15 km north of our current campus. It is a time of new beginnings.

At home I am packing up and clearing out my “guest room” which has become a storage room for many of the things I had no time to sift through as I quickly moved to our apartment two years ago.

I find that, in both locations, I am packing and sifting – deciding which “things” must stay and which must go – some things are harder to part with than others. The reality is that I am one of those people who is attached to “things” and their significance. Even if I don’t look at a “thing” for years – when I remember who gave it to me, or the sentimental attachments, it is often hard for me to part with it. Some “things” I keep because I feel I have to keep them – and other things I keep because I have kept them for so long already, how could I throw them out now????

Can you relate?

As I was sifting through items in this spare room I came across two old key chains, full of keys. I knew what some of the keys opened – the office of my advisor at the University I went to (I did some work for her when I was there), another set was to a church where I ran a youth program, one set opened the offices of an HIV Education program I worked for, still another set (I think) opened my parents home, that I have not lived in since I was 18…..

All these keys, none of them in use, yet I still held on to them. And it occurred to me, as much as we use keys to open doors – and move on, we can also use keys to lock things away and hold on to our past. What I realized is that, at times, we hold on to the keys that link us to our past, and these links are not healthy for us. When we have the courage to throw away the old keys and seek new ones, we are allowing ourselves the freedom to create new pathways for ourselves.

I threw away the keys. And then I kept throwing – wedding cards (after all, it ended in divorce), letters from old boy and girlfriends, books from university, knick knacks (some tacky and ugly) given to me by friends, but hidden away because they look hideous…….

When we keep these things, the guilt and attachment cause us to hold on – we believe that getting rid of them will bring pain – but, what if throwing these things out does not cause pain, but provides us with freedom?

Throwing away unnecessary ties to the past gives us the opportunity to continue to walk today, and towards our future.

Today, 143 days ’til 40, I am reminded that by clearing out things from our past we can often free ourselves towards movement towards our future.



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253 Days ’til 40: Carbon Footprint Week, Day 4

Thank you to Twisted Yarns for pointing out to me that to look at our carbon footprint I must also be willing to calculate energy and fuel consumption.  This is what I did today Read the rest of this entry »


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300 Days ’til 40: Shifting Your Dreams

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible. ~ T.E. Lawrence

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. ~ Walt Disney Read the rest of this entry »


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304 Days ’til 40: Preparing Our Children for the Unknown Future World

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. ~ Thomas Jefferson

Thank you to fellow Blogger, Louise Behiel, for reminding me of this important topic and thus, inspiring this post. Read the rest of this entry »


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310 Days ’til 40: Soothing Stress

Everybody’s going through a lot of stress these days, no matter how well off you are and how many advantages you have, it’s a stressful time in everybody’s lives. ~ Chris Frantz

Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started. ~ David Allen Read the rest of this entry »


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333 Days ’til 40: Keys to Our Future

I am certain that at some point in life we all ask ourselves “what is the key to our future?”

Corrie Ten Boom said, “Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.”  I tend to agree with her.

Read the rest of this entry »


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334 Days ’til 40: Perseverance

Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragement and impossibilities:  It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak. – Thomas Carlyle

Life is not easy for any of us.  But what of that?  We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves.  We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained. – Marie Curie

Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish. – John Quincy Adams Read the rest of this entry »


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345 Days ’til 40: Do You NEED a Plan?

Do you sometimes feel as though you are muddling through life without a real plan or direction?  Do you take each day as it comes, allowing each day to control you, rather than you embracing all that the day has to give to you?  Are you running your life or is your life running you?

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373 Days ’til 40: Defining Love

I must shamelessly admit that today I am joining the multitudes that will be blogging about love on Valentine’s Day.  I personally think love is vastly misunderstood by a multitude of people.  What IS love?  Perhaps it is best to start with what love IS NOT.

Defining Love:

Love versus Hormones:

When I was in my university days I was very active in a few religious circles.  In once of these circles were three individuals who, for whatever reasons, all seemed to fancy me.  One wore suits all the time (even on walks through the forest) and ate pizza with a knife and fork.  Another wanted a spouse to stay at home all day as some sort of domestic guru.  The third was a bit of a player.  ALL THREE individuals came to me on their own and said (in various forms), “I love you and God told me I was going to marry you.”  HMMMMM  God did not tell me that.  In fact, are you sure you heard God talking?  Excuse me, I think you confused God and love with HORMONES.  These individuals were clearly physically and/ or emotionally attracted to me and were going to try to blame God and love for their desire for physical intimacy.  My response????  Wow, I did not know we lived in a polyandrous society.  Either that or….  did God also tell you that you would die young?  Am I going to be a widow at least two times in succession???

It is critical that we learn to differentiate love from hormones and are honest with ourselves.  Many individuals will follow their hormones.  Depending on their beliefs, they may follow their hormones into a short-term relationship, or all the way to the altar.  I often worry when I see young people so clearly hormotional about each other.  It is all about the emotions of hormones and after the wedding they get a scary dose of reality.  After the hormones subside, they have to live with each other (often with little in common).

Love Versus Loneliness

We all know the types.  Individuals so desperate for connection that they are willing to be in a relationship with anyone in order to not have to sit by themselves at night.  I have seen many people like this.  They say, “I love you” on the second date….. and I often wonder if what they really want to say is, “Thank you for saving me from me – I was wasting away by myself at night.”  Now, we all do get lonely from time to time and it is a wonderful thing when interpersonal connection cures loneliness.  The issues arise when the loneliness is so deep and isolating that the “love” is a fabrication, a lie one tells himself, a lie one believes, in order to have regular company.

Love Versus Resources (i.e.: MONEY)

I have seen many individuals who are “in love” with the security of the relationship they are in.  Perhaps they have found a much- older man or woman, or a much- wealthier man or woman to support them.  In these cases, the relationship is often less about love and respect, and more about parenting.  There often is not an equitable power distribution in these types of “love relationships”, but, rather, one individual (usually the older one or the one with significantly more wealth) will take on a role that is more akin to parenting.  Sometimes younger individuals are looking for a parental figure or security – and older individuals can be very flattered when young people find them attractive (even though they may not understand they are attracted to different qualities than they think!)

False Identification/ Labeling of Love

When I was growing up I was often told, “When you find true love, you will know.”  Seriously?  HOW???  If I have never seen true love, if I have never experienced true love, if I have never been given any signposts to look out for – HOW will I know?  I think too many young people hear these words and they are misleading and confusing.  How can someone “just know”  if they do not have guidance?  At times in my own life I would question my relationship, “Is this love?  I was told I would know?  Do I know?”  Some would argue that if you need to question then it is not true love.  I disagree, as there are many hormone-crazed individuals labeling their hormones love and claiming to “just know”.  I believe there are many people in life who think that they have found love, but have come to this conclusion because they do not really know what to look for.

True Love

One of my favorite quotes of all-time regarding love comes from the New Testament.  Now, reading this blog, you can tell I am not the “religious type” yet the words are so powerful…..

“Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps  no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”  1 Corinthians 13:4

I want my life to be led with a love like that.  It sums it up well and I have very little to add.  This brings me to my final points.  What does love look like?

Manifesting Love:

What Love Isn’t:

  1. Violent (Abuse is NEVER acceptable in a relationship)
  2. Shaming (Love does NOT make you feel bad about yourself)
  3. Jealous (True love has trust that goes deeper than insecurities)
  4. Manipulative (You shouldn’t have to pay a price for love)

What Love Is:

  1. Supportive (Your partner caring about you)
  2. Gentle (Your partner treating you with tenderness)
  3. Respectful (Your partner honoring your timelines and wishes)
  4. Honest (Your partner telling the truth, even when the truth hurts)
  5. Safe (You should feel safe and secure with your partner)

Today, on Valentine’s Day, I wish that all of you in cyberspace will connect with true love, the kind of love that values you as a person.  I wish for you the love that blossoms and grows.  A love that allows you and your partner to grow and prosper as you support each other.  When you find true love, both you and your partner will become better individuals as a result of your joint union of intimacy and support.  I pray that you will recognize the difference between a healthy relationship and a damaging one.

If you are in a relationship that is not love, please get help.  Life is too short to endure unnecessary suffering.

Happy Valentine’s Day!



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