291 Days ’til 40: Confessions of a Sleepblogger

06 May

I have a confession to make. In the middle of the night when my house is quiet and all is well within the confines of nocturnal bliss my dysfunction rages. My nightly predicament manifests most often in that time continuum between 23:30 and midnight. Yes, at that precise moment, I am often a sleepblogger.

In most cases I have experienced a long, hard day at work and should have been in bed hours prior. Yet, arriving home, I was tasked with cooking dinner, making lunches, doing laundry, and random other chores…. these things greatly delay the hour in which I retire to spend quality time with my pillow. Most normal people would leave their blogs for another day and succumb to their natural pull towards slumber. I, however, cannot allow myself that satisfaction. Why? Well, in a moment of unexplained insanity, I agreed to blog for 400 days in a row. Therefore, no matter how exhausted I may be, that daily post must be up by midnight. With my eyelids half-shut I begin to type….. I feel my head drift down towards my keyboard. I fight to stay awake…… I no longer remember what my last sentence was about – in fact, I no longer remember what this particular blog entry is about. All I know is I need to finish the entry NOW because I cannot stand another second of this torture. Yes, In this moment, I am sleepblogging.

As this is a serious disorder, I wanted to give my readers a list of the warning signs. Please share these with your friends and family so that you can promote the awareness of sleepblogging. Together we can make a difference!

You know you are a sleepblogger if:

  1. You wake up in the morning and do not remember the blog you posted last night.
  2. You feel a bit nauseous and have a hazy recollection of writing something that you worry you may regret today.
  3. You pray your blog and your ex have nothing to do with each other, and you did not accidentally mix up your post with your email detailing his offenses and belittling his sexual performance.
  4. Your entry makes no sense – it literally MAKES NO SENSE at all. In fact, it appears it was composed by someone who does not speak English as a native language… in fact, maybe your sleep persona is from a planet that speaks a language yet to be discovered by mankind.
  5. The glories of spellcheck are working at full speed and u c that their r errors threw out the entire post that would make you’re hi school english teacher cringe.
  6. The photo of the coconut you thought you inserted into your post turned out to be a photo of you wearing a coconut bikini top…. it has gone viral……. your career may be ruined, but the parking lot attendant now offers you a more comfortable orange peel or cantaloupe option for your next appearance…. you did not realize how thoughtful he really was.
  7. Your teenager wants to transfer to a school in a different country… her friends suddenly want to date you.
  8. You are in denial – does sleepblogging REALLY hurt anyone? You tell your friends that they are overreacting and they should leave you alone and mind their own business. They counter with an intervention, they want you to commit to no longer blogging daily – you refuse, you need it, you must have it, at any cost. The sleepblogging is a small price to pay in order to get your high from the daily post you have committed to.

If you recognize any of the above symptoms in yourself or others, get help. You deserve it. Together we are strong. Perhaps it is time to start a blogging community dedicated to the plight of sleepbloggers. We admit we are powerless over our addiction to blogging and we turn ourselves over to our higher power.

Today, 291 days ’til 40, I will strive to compose my blog entries earlier in the evening so as to not fall victim to sleepblogging.



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52 responses to “291 Days ’til 40: Confessions of a Sleepblogger

  1. imptiness

    May 6, 2012 at 00:08

    I cannot say I tick all the boxes, but do infact tick several. I suppose I should find some kind of support group.

  2. lameadventures

    May 6, 2012 at 00:53

    I suppose it’s too late to rethink this blog and call it Every Other Day ’til 40?

  3. MLHawke

    May 6, 2012 at 00:56

    Had I been drinking something, it would have ended up all over my computer monitor. I laughed a lot, because I can completely relate. You know the feeling when you’re JUST starting to fall asleep, and your thoughts make no sense? I’ve been known to start typing those words into my blog. I have to reread what I’ve typed to make sure that I’m not about to publish something that random.

  4. Karmic Diva

    May 6, 2012 at 01:07

    random non-thinking posts can be amusing, especially if half-asleep

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:43

      The greater question is….. are they amusing to the half-asleep person who wrote them, or the rest of the blogging world??? ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Bird

    May 6, 2012 at 03:35

    This happens to me sometimes when I take Ambien…I evidently become angry at random garbage and type out a bunch of illogical nonsense that I’ve had to delete because i simply had no idea what I was trying to say…at all!!!

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:40

      Yes, it is a sad thing when you do not even know what you are trying to say (been there many times!) But hey, if I can blame a drug, that is better, right????? Maybe not??? ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Bird

        May 6, 2012 at 23:13

        Oh, no. If you can blame a drug, do it!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. writerwannabe763

    May 6, 2012 at 04:31

    That is so funny and I can actually envision you at your computer…you did indeed take on a very arduous task of 400 blogs in a row…and working and family …if it ever becomes just TOO much I for one will forgive you…..a fellow addicted blogger (but not 1 a day)….Diane

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:38

      Thanks so much for your encouragement, Diane! I think I need to have some back-up posts in place to save me on those days when I can barely move…. but to not post, I cannot even think of that since it is the premise of this blog (yes, I suppose I am a bit pathetic!!!) ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. thelastsongiheard

    May 6, 2012 at 05:41

    LOL That’s great… I too have written posts while being half asleep… it’s kinda hard to remember past events when you can’t even remember how to spell correctly…

  8. SkiDaddy

    May 6, 2012 at 06:26

    You should attend SBA…..SleepBloggers Anonomous. I think they have a 400 day program. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:37

      Ahh, I think I need to get to that program FAST!

  9. cthethoughts

    May 6, 2012 at 07:07

    oh my sweets, how this speaks of me so well!

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:37

      Glad it caught your attention! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. MedusasMuse

    May 6, 2012 at 07:09

    this is a wonderful idea for a blog, and great writing. this made me laugh. Cheers.

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:37

      Thanks so much – glad you got a chuckle!!!

  11. The Quiet Borderline

    May 6, 2012 at 12:13

    Hehe, funny post. I liked about the coconuts!

    Good luck on your continuing great job of posting every day ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. Missus Tribble

    May 6, 2012 at 12:23

    Help! I’m on WordPress and I can’t get off!!

    This made me laugh so much; thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:36

      Thanks, I like it when I make people laugh! ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. dysfunctional unit

    May 6, 2012 at 13:47

    4dt4-Hilarious-well conceived and executed-I am hoping the post you wrote about is still up-I look forward to readin it- I know I specifically suffered from this during my last blog cycle trying to put out that KBA-As you can see KBA 3 has some spellin errors I just never noticed (nor yet fixed lol) and (hopefully not every one can tell) a desperate slap dash feel to it…
    This post captures the feeling well..”I feel my head drift down towards my keyboard. I fight to stay awakeโ€ฆโ€ฆ I no longer remember what my last sentence was about โ€“ in fact, I no longer remember what this particular blog entry is about. All I know is I need to finish the entry NOW because I cannot stand another second of this torture. Yes, In this moment, I am sleepblogging”….oh it is to laugh
    Very well done.

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:36

      Thanks so much! I think we can all relate to this one! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. dogdaz

    May 6, 2012 at 14:51

    Sleep blogging, for sure. I know it when I run the spell check the next day. LOL

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:35

      Me too – I don’t even need to run the spell check – they often leap up off the page and slap me!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. 1smiles

    May 6, 2012 at 18:40

    Fortunately I work til midnight two days a week. And it leaves me time during the day then to post.

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:32

      ๐Ÿ™‚ If I worked at night, I am not sure I would leave my bed during the day! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Lela Bonchjela

    May 6, 2012 at 21:09

    Just wondering, would you start another blog, say “500daystil50”? I hope you would. Then again, I I hope you won’y sleepblog…as there’d be overlap with this blog, which means you have to bog twice a day…u get what I’ trying to say……….?

    • Lela Bonchjela

      May 6, 2012 at 21:10

      OMG I am sleepblogging.

    • 400daystil40

      May 6, 2012 at 22:31

      No, no, no, I do not think I will do 500 days ’til 50…. but I have ten years to come up with something great for then!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. NZ Cate

    May 7, 2012 at 08:10

    Yep, I think every blogger needs to read your warning signs. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. New Hampshire Garden Solutions

    May 7, 2012 at 17:53

    I have a great admiration for anyone who can post daily. Twice each week is all I can manage, and even that is a struggle sometimes. I enjoy reading your blog, but don’t know how you keep up with it.

    • 400daystil40

      May 7, 2012 at 22:34

      Thanks for the compliment! I also am not sure how I keep up with it! ๐Ÿ˜›

  19. Anonymous

    May 7, 2012 at 18:42

    Guilt as charged, who knew, and I was suffereing alone when there are hundreds of us out there!
    I loved this blog even if you wrote it half asleep, great job!

  20. damoris

    May 16, 2012 at 13:24

    Thank you for sharing your eloquence. It is always such a pleasure to read you. your words seem to be tight roping between seriousness and lightness…
    You always find the right tone.
    You play with the depth and the form you give those words so well.

    And weather sleep-blogging or not, it always makes sense to me. To me anyway!! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    How about sleep-blog-reading then you’ll say… ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • 400daystil40

      May 16, 2012 at 18:51

      Thank you so much for your wonderfully encouraging words!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. damoris

    May 16, 2012 at 13:25

    Whether. sorry… not weather! lol

  22. cyclingrandma

    June 4, 2012 at 20:44

    Thanks for liking my finished project post! Hope your countdown is meeting your expectations!
    As someone well beyond 40, I promise you life just gets more and more fun!

    • 400daystil40

      June 4, 2012 at 23:00

      Thanks! Yes, I am planning on life getting even more fun after 40 (it better!!!)

  23. Clarabelle

    June 4, 2012 at 21:12

    Thank you for dropping by my blog and liking my poem ‘Me’ Time in the Moment, I really appreciate it. Wishing you a wonderful day with lots of precious ‘Me’ Time. Clarabelle

    • 400daystil40

      June 4, 2012 at 22:59

      Thank you! It is always such a treat when a blogger stops by my page after I like their page. Thanks for stopping by!

  24. I'm Feelin' Crafty

    June 4, 2012 at 22:23

    This is too funny! I’m often sitting there blogging and wondering, why?? why am I not asleep??? ๐Ÿ™‚

    • 400daystil40

      June 4, 2012 at 22:55

      Yes, it happens to the best of us – don’t worry, you are not alone and help is available!!! ๐Ÿ™‚


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