One of the largest motivators in my life this far has been an individual telling me “there is no way you can do that!” “You just can’t!” This is usually the catalyst that propels me into overdrive in order to make sure that the achievement occurs. I should state that I always find this as a wonderfully exhilarating challenge and I look forward to proving “I can”. Read the rest of this entry »
Do you ever have those days when you know you need to stay the course but what you really want to do is scream and pull your hair out or throw a temper tantrum that would put any two-year old to shame? I think we all have those days….. Read the rest of this entry »
A mighty flame followeth a tiny spark. ~ Dante Alighieri
A man must live like a great brilliant flame and burn as brightly as he can. In the end he burns out. But this is far better than a mean little flame. ~ Boris Yeltsin
Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. ~ Albert Schweitzer Read the rest of this entry »
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Read the rest of this entry »
My oldest daughter is the inspiration for this post today. She was HORRIFIED to learn that I wrote about PMS yesterday, “Mom, that is SOOO embarrassing!” she said. She is 10. I then asked her what topics she felt I should be writing about. She replied, “What a great idea, I can come up with good things for you to write about!” One of her first suggestions was to write about getting your own room. This is very important to my daughter, as she currently shares a room with her younger sister. My oldest is desperate for her own space. Thus, the title of today’s post.
“No amount of darkness can put out the light of a single candle.” ~ Author Unknown
First of all, just to make sure everything is clear – this post is about general performance anxiety in life, NOT about sexual performance anxiety (perhaps a post for another time!)
Many of us fear inadequacy. We worry whether we are truly measuring up, whether we can be all that we were Read the rest of this entry »
Have you ever felt like finding time was akin to playing hide and seek? The time being hidden, and you – you are the person frantically scurrying around attempting to find it.
Time is one of those things that seems to slip away without notice. BUT when it is gone we do notice, often with a multitude of regret that we let it get away.
The key to finding time is careful, honest analysis of the current time allocations in your life followed by a soul-searching scrutinization of your values and priorities.
What are some of the biggest “time suckers” today? I will list a few (please feel free to add to this list by commenting on this post).
1. Internet (And specifically: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc.).
2. Television (or various forms of video-based media watching).
3. Sleeping.
4. Snacking (often combined with television viewing).
5. Procrastination (I am often amazed at how many people can stare blankly at a computer screen for hours because they do not know what to say and are afraid to get started).
None of the above are, in and of themselves, bad activities. They only become bad when they infringe on the time that should be devoted to alternate activities.
Who and what are you neglecting when you are hooked on the internet or television???
1. Your children.
2. Housework.
3. Work productivity.
4. Physical exercise and health.
5. Your partner.
6. Your parents.
It has been very hard for me to come to the conclusion that I cannot fit everything I want into every day. It was also hard for me to prioritize activities. I had no choice, there was not enough time. I love to knit – LOVE to knit, but I also really needed to start exercising again. With a limited amount of down time between work and bed (after kids are fed, lunches packed, dinner made, etc.) I had no choice but to give up one activity for another. I gave up my hour of nightly knitting for an hour of exercising. (Yes, I DID try to do them simultaneously, but unfortunately that did not work out well for me!) There was a bit of a trade-off. I set up my stationary bicycle near my television – this allows me to have free moments of mind-wasting television coupled with my devoted exercise time. I pass the time with a funny sit-com while simultaneously improving my health. This is also good for me because I need something to distract me from the exercise itself! I exercise because it is healthy, but that does not mean I always enjoy it!
How can you analyze your time and make changes that are better for you? Do you have any idea how many hours you lose each day?
1. Make a chart for the day. Divide the chart into half hour blocks. Write down everything you do throughout the day. Repeat this for 3-5 days.
2. Analyze the chart – are there patterns? Notice what takes the most of your time and what takes the least. Are your children getting a majority of your time and attention, or is it being funneled to Facebook?
3. MAKE CHANGES. As you analyze your priorities, give yourself permission to adjust your schedule and attempt to create a daily routine that is more in line with your personal life goals and priorities.
4. Constantly Re-evaluate. In order to truly keep watch of your precious time, you must constantly re-evaluate and re-analyze where your time is going. I would recommend repeating this process 2-4 times a year (if you have the time to!!!) This will allow you to really keep track of your shifting priorities over time.
As the years go by our priorities and time allocations towards certain activities change. Not long ago there was no Facebook, and now it is one of the single largest time guzzlers in the world. Also, as your life changes, your ability to be flexible with your time may change. A new baby or even a toddler requires a tremendous amount of time with hands-on parenting. As children get older they are more independent and when they are capable of bathing themselves, cleaning their own rooms, etc., it allows you to divert that time elsewhere.
If you are honest with yourself you can work to gain back the many hours you are losing. When you find the time, drop me a note and let me know how it is working out for you.
At 372 days until 40 I remind myself once again that time is one of the most valuable resources I have and I must guard it carefully.
~400daystil40
Negativity. It is something most of us have the pleasure of coping with every day. I personally like to believe that most of the negativity comes from outside sources, but if I were being truly honest with myself then I would also need to admit that sometimes I also fall into the pattern of focusing too much of my energy on the negative.
Is your cup half empty or half full? Read the rest of this entry »
“Procrastination is a crime, it only leads to sorrow. I can stop at any time, I think I will tomorrow.” ~ Author unknown.
My 8th grade history teacher forced us to memorize this quote. It has been with me all these years….. Yes, that would be well over 25 years! Yet I must admit, just because I have never managed to rid my mind of these words does not mean that I have embraced them as guidelines for life management.
When I was in high school I studied at the last-minute for most exams and wrote my papers that way too. I was perpetually motivated by the last-minute. My GPA was not the top, but decent enough. At the time my parents said, “You will NEVER get away with that in college.”
When I was in college I studied at the last-minute for most exams and wrote my papers that way too. I was highly motivated by the last-minute. My GPA was higher than in HS. At THAT time my parents said, “You will NEVER get away with that in grad school.”
When I was in grad school I studied at the last-minute for most exams and wrote my papers and projects that way too. I was greatly motivated by the last-minute. My GPA was higher than my undergrad. In fact, I got only one B+ in my entire grad school career, and the program was tough!
I never learned my lesson – in fact, throughout my entire educational career I received reinforcement. My behavioral conditioning showed me that I indeed COULD get away with procrastinating and it DID NOT lead to sorrow…. I had pretty good outcomes.
Only as I have gotten older and “wiser” have I started to work at a more even pace. Most of my work does not have actual deadlines, so I am diligent about finishing assigned tasks as soon as possible, moving things out of my perpetually overflowing “in box.” I am much more skilled with this when I am at work. I get as much accomplished as possible, as the environment is fast paced and it is critical to keep up.
Home is another story…. laundry and dishes can pile up for a few days before I reach my limit (often to the dismay of my partner). I most certainly need to learn new skills for the home, but over-use the excuse that I am exhausted from work. Note: Just because it is over-used, does not mean it is not true!
When I bring work home I tend to falter…. how do I reconcile my fast paced work world with my slower-paced, procrastination-filled home world? I wish I knew how to find that balance. Work that comes home should be done on Friday night, giving me the entire weekend to relax and let go of all work-related thoughts. So, why is it that week after week after week the work follows me and haunts me all weekend? Only on Sunday, sometimes late Sundays after dinner and when I should be thinking about bed, do I finally get around to accomplishing all that I needed to before the new work week starts. It does get done, it gets done well – but I have wasted SO MUCH TIME prior.
You see, when I have a project to do that I am not interested in, the procrastination is high – in fact, my partner gets lucky sometimes because my procrastinating from the work that followed me home can often benefit the house – I go to housework first! Then computer games, then surfing the internet, a long nap, etc.
I do believe my weekends would feel better to me if I could get my work done on Fridays… then I could relax and enjoy my days off. Even if I were to play the same games, surf the same websites, etc., I would do it with less stress because nothing would be hanging over me while I was engaging in those activities.
So the moral of the story is, do not procrastinate….. now we all just need to figure out how we are really going to stop procrastinating…. let’s think about it tomorrow!
~400daystil40
Fortuitous Forty!!! 